I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
