belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
