you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
