She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
