how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
