Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
