That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
