You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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