Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
