she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize