so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I can't put those talents on a resume
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
