He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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