And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
