College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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