I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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