My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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