how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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