I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
