Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
