Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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