I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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