so explain again why im purple
no
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
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