They should really pass out barf bags in church
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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