Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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