Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
