living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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