you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
