It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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