sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
