Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
