I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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