Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Sext me about skeletons
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
