you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
