I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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