you mean i was at the winter classic?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
