He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
