playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
