I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
