Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
