Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
