You made me cry and you don't even care
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
