Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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