in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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