i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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