I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
