D3 body, D1 cock
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
