i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
