I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
