So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
