"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
