they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Panties = found
Randomize
