Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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