I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize