So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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