all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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